my friends say i dont listen to their advice what do i do

10 tips for active listening

Listening is an of import skill in all areas of life, whether you're supporting a loved one through health problems, dealing with colleagues or in family relationships. But most of us aren't as skilful at listening as we'd like to think.

When nosotros show we're actually listening, it'due south much more rewarding for the person talking to you lot, and you lot'll become more than out of it too. This is called active listening, and it can help avert misunderstanding and reduce the potential for conflict.

Here are 10 easy ways to make your communication more than effective and make the other person experience more valued.

i. Face the speaker and accept center contact

Eye contact is an of import role of face to face conversation. Too much centre contact can exist intimidating, though, so conform this to the situation you lot're in. Try breaking heart contact every five seconds or and so, or to show you're listening intently, look at ane center for five seconds, so another eye for v seconds, and then switch to looking at their mouth. When you wait abroad, looking to the side or upwardly is better than looking down, which tin can seem like you desire to close the conversation.

Check your posture and make sure it's open – avoid crossed artillery or crossed legs, which tin can make you look 'closed' or defensive. Leaning slightly forwards or sideways whilst sitting can evidence that you lot're listening – as can a slight tilt of your head or resting your caput on your paw.

2. "Listen" to non-verbal cues as well

Pay attending to what the other person is saying with their body language

Facial expressions, tone of voice and gestures tin can tell you simply as much as what is existence said in words. Pay attention to what the other person is saying with their body language - are they smiling, for case, or are their arms crossed defensively, or are they rubbing their eyes as if they're tired or upset. Even on the telephone, you lot tin learn a lot from the other person's vocalization, which might audio subdued or upbeat.

three. Don't interrupt

Existence interrupted is frustrating for the other person – it gives the impression that you think you lot're more important, or that you don't accept time for what they have to say. If you lot are naturally a quicker thinker or speaker, force yourself to slow downward so that the other person tin express themselves. Remember, a pause or a few seconds of silence doesn't hateful that you take to jump in. Letting the other person speak volition get in easier for you to understand their message, too.

Fifty-fifty interruptions that reply to something that they've said can be distracting if it means the conversation gets sidetracked from what they were trying to tell y'all about. If this does happen, steer the conversation back to "So, you were telling me well-nigh…".

4. Listen without judging, or jumping to conclusions

If you lot kickoff reacting emotionally to what's being said, and then it can get in the way of listening to what is said next. Attempt to focus on listening. Equally, don't assume that y'all know what'due south going to exist said adjacent.

five. Don't offset planning what to say next

You can't listen and prepare at the same time.

half-dozen. Prove that you're listening

Nod your head, smile and brand small noises like "yes" and "uh huh", to show that you lot're listening and encourage the speaker to continue. Don't look at your watch, fidget or play with your hair or fingernails.

7. Don't impose your opinions or solutions

It'southward not ever piece of cake, merely lending a listening, supportive ear tin can be much more rewarding than telling someone what they should exercise. When a loved one has wellness problems is a fourth dimension when they probably want to tell yous how they're feeling, and go things off their chest, rather than accept lots of advice near what they should be doing.

In other areas of life too, well-nigh people prefer to come up to their own solutions. If you actually must share your bright solution, inquire showtime if they want to hear it – say something like "Would you like to hear my suggestions?"

8. Stay focused

If you're finding it difficult to focus on what someone is proverb, try repeating their words in your head as they say them – this volition reinforce what they're saying and help you to concentrate. Try to close out distractions like other conversations going on in the room. And definitely don't look at your telephone.

ix. Ask questions

Request relevant questions can show that you've been listening and help clarify what has been said.

If you're not sure if you've understood correctly, wait until the speaker pauses so say something like "Did you lot hateful that x…" Or "I'thou not sure if I understood what you were proverb almost…"

You should also use open questions where yous can, like "How did that make yous feel?" "What did y'all do adjacent?"

ten. Paraphrase and summarise

Repeating what has been said actually shows you've been paying attention, and allows the speaker to correct you if y'all haven't understood

Sometimes chosen reflecting, this is repeating what has been said to evidence that you empathise information technology. This may seem bad-mannered at first, but really shows you've been paying attention, and allows the speaker to correct yous if you haven't understood correctly.

If you're non sure how to do this, endeavor starting a sentence with: "Sounds like you are maxim…"

And remember….practice makes perfect

Old habits are hard to intermission, then you lot'll need to brand a conscious endeavour to go an active listener. Try spending a week in which you summarise the main points or outcomes at the end of each conversation or meeting. This volition help you get into the habit.

•  Get advice for talking near health issues.

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Source: https://www.bhf.org.uk/informationsupport/heart-matters-magazine/wellbeing/how-to-talk-about-health-problems/active-listening